I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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