come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
