who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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