wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
