I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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