Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
