Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Randomize
