my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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