C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
