Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
