After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
