Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
