i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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