Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
a search helicopter?!
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
