Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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