Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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