In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
