Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
That was an excessively violent trivia night
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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