so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Drunk is not a location!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize