you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
