I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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