This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
