I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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