I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Someone signed my nipple.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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