i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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