When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
