The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
