it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize