someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
