before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Sorry about my life...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
