Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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