i love accidental penises.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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