Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
