dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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