its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
