u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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