she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
