when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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