I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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