I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
