i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
