the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
