Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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