If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
