All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize