Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize