driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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