she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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