i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Houston, we have a squirter
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
