And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
