I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
