seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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