well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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