Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize