i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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