Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
