ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
