Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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