I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
