his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
