Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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