drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
