We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
