I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
